Nope, not new to dreaming, according to my mom, I seem to go through most of the day doing just that; but I digress. I’m referring to my dream last night and while it was not my first kind of this nature it all seemed so real.

Last night I dreamed that I was back to my old self so to speak. What was really weird about it was that at no time did I have any compunction of my current situation – A C3 Quadriplegic paralyzed from the neck down and dependent on a ventilator for my breathing! I suspect that most people with a spinal cord injury have had similar experiences, but this was perhaps my first that I can recollect with such vivid detail. Needless to say, it would be superfluous indeed to say that I was a disappointed man when I was awoken at 6:00am by my attendant telling me good morning while deftly following up with the question of “shall I start your stretching exercise now?” while the melodic sound of my ventilator began to fade into my conscious hearing.

It did not take me long to be sure it was just another dream, which was reinforced rather quickly as I found myself dangling from my hoyer lift as I was transferred from the bed to my wheelchair. I could hear a voice practically taunting in my head, saying over and over, “your back in the real world now mate!” If I’m being really truthful here I would have to confess I was not in the best of moods at this point and perhaps this is why I feel almost compelled to submit this experience to paper as some weird sort of therapy, gosh I have gone all “Oprah” here!

As I sit here now writing this entry, I’m wondering if I am truly at the stage of acceptance and awareness of my current situation? I mean the thing is; I don’t consider myself to be under any illusion and I would seriously like to think I’m fully cognisant of the situation and all it consequences that from here on in, I just another quadriplegic who must come to terms with the fact that life will no longer be what it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that in a bad way but for clarity – All that stuff I used to enjoy such as snowboarding, mountain biking or more succinctly, activities such as breathing, eating on my own or the simply task of getting out of bed and “wiping the sleep out of my eyes” are task I now depend on other to perform for me.

I wonder, bear with me I’m typing this “in the raw” – as I’m thinking it, I writing it, trouble is my thinking capacity is slightly quicker that than this speech software can cope with. I used to go to a support group, and one of the things I quite never understood, was this girl who was a paraplegic and apart from being very attractive, she often gave me the impression that she was quite happy and accepting of her accident and that in fact, she thinks it has made her a better person! Hmmmm…… ??? I’m sorry on this one, perhaps this too will come, but I am nowhere in the vicinity, of reaching that juncture! I would like to know the secret to that one, and I know she was not alone as I often read and see on television people with spinal cord injuries whom claim similar experiences. I’m just curious as to what was their life prior to injury? I am wrong here, or just don’t get it?

Gosh, who would have though something as trivial as a dream could evoke such though! Well I guess it’s all part of life’s experience in a wired way, but hey that just my experience! Tell me what you think?

Well it’s a few weeks in the new academic semester, and it feels already like I never really had a summer recess.   On the other hand, I have met some nice and cool people and my teaching load is “slightly” lighter then last year as I’m only teaching two classes this term and three next term.  This is a really good outcome for me as it means I can concentrate far more on my research activities.

Yesterday my colleagues and I made a presentation to GE Medical about the status of our research and to be quite honest, we pretty much “bluffed” our way through the presentation, which I have no doubts they were able to see right through, but for some reason the feed back this morning I received today was good, which means our funding is thus assured!

I plan on having a great weekend as my brother arrived from New York yesterday to spend a few days with me here, well things are not always what they appear as it turns out he really came to visit the London office of Salomon Smith Barney here in London and while I’m on the topic, I’m still trying to understand what exactly he does and why he get paid so much more than I do as a fixed income trader.  After all, I struggled through to the level of PhD, and I don’t get any way near what his salary is! I’m telling you now; life is just not fair!  Well don’t get me wrong, I do love what I do.

Well now we are off to hit the West End of London for a bit to eat so I guess I should get off this dam machine and wish you all a great weekend!


Later

Yes, Yes, Yes… I know, I did promise my parents that I would not do any “surfing” while on vacation, but heck it’s very difficult not to take a peek at my emails irrespective of how much of a good time I’m having; besides I did pack my laptop, so I might as well use it! – Oh and yeah, I’m having a great time here in Chicago, slightly scattered clouds, but it has been a change from my usual London weather.

For my rather small gathering of readers on this blog, I should just like to let you all know, I’m still around, well not really as I’m on vacation until September; but I have not gone away, a few more days here in Chicago, then it’s off to do some travelling around, France and Germany!  I hope your vacation is going well!

OK, for about two days now we have had the “pleasure” of spending time with a management consultant firm that is supposed to help us in terms our focus and productivity.  Well I have to say, for the first part of yesterday I found myself struggling just to stay awake let alone trying to decipher that ridiculously annoying “consultant speak!”

I have heard from several sources that this is norm as far as consultants go, and to be honest I pretty much thought it was an old wives tale but “partie deux” did not disappoint!  To give you an example of the nonsense, the guy today kept referring to ridiculous acronyms such as: TOTB (think outside the box) and DM (daily milestone).  Now it is not like these phrases are difficult to comprehend or pronounce for that matter, which begs the question just why the heck do they have to come up with such silly acronym’s
in the first place!

Perhaps I’m overacting here, but I’m a scientist (well I would like to think so!) and really have no time for such time wasting, after all, for all of us in the team our work is research base, and it’s bad enough when your original hypothesis turns out to be incorrect without some fresh out of business school graduate putting on the additional pressure of requiring me to learn a new language just to be productive, give me a break here!

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m annoyed or anything, actually I’m more amused by such daftness.  On the other hand, I might try to get a job doing this stuff as I’m told they get paid pretty well, and I could come up with a few “catch” phrases myself! 

Plain English please!